Sunday, July 31, 2005

It's weird being back

Fresh Madinah dates. © Fareena Alam. Please do not re-use without permission and proper credit.

Bismillahir Rahmeen ArRaheem

I have been home for a couple of days alhamdulillah. It's really weird. I'm not sure what to say. One of the biggest duas I made was that Allah would not let me go back to my old ways once returning home and that I constantly grow nearer to Him. This definately takes work on my part. It really is easy to fall back. You get used to the wonderful company. Returning to the dunya is very difficult. Not only do I miss Medina, I miss the company - being with people only for the sake of Allah.

During the whole trip I wondered why I, and the rest of us on the trip, were chosen out of the thousands, nay, probably millions, of people would have given an arm for an oppurtunity like this. I'm not a scholar or a pious worshipper. I'm nothing. But on the last day Shaykh Hamza said it... "This trip is a hujja (proof) against you" and he is very right. This trip will either work for me or against me. I pray that it works for me and all those who were on the trip. I think I'm going to put those words on my wall so I don't forget. :)

May Allah preserve our shuyukh. May Allah make us all steadfast in the struggle against ourselves. Ameen.



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